Wednesday, August 27, 2008

my Loves

I tried out a new recipe on Sunday and had the family over. I made turkey meatloaf with asiago gravy, served with roasted tomatoes and broccoli. I also made cupcake pops that I couldn't keep from Cony- the big pig! Our apartment is not very big so after a while we took the kids outside to get some energy out.. in the rain! Even mom and Emily were out there splashing away. I've realized that I cover our blog with pictures of our nieces and nephews, but they are my loves and it scares me to think what this blog will look like when we actually have kids of our own. Watch out!

Cony started school last week and has some sort of interview today. I hate to even mention it because all I know is that it has to do with his UN class. He has the opportunity to be on the board or something. Whatever, I slaughtered that explanation.

I personally have been stressing over my job. I'm quitting today. I've been there for over 2 years but feel it's time to move on. I've had some great offers that I'm really excited about and hope things work out to plan. But let's be for real.. when do they ever work out to plan??!!

I wanted to mention a talk our home teacher gave on Sunday because it really hit home for me. He talked about trusting the Lord and trusting that He knows what we NEED. So we don't need to stress out so much about the little things of life. And I know that in the end it just doesn't matter anyway!! We are here on earth to gain a body and to have a family. That's what the earth was created for, it wasn't created so that we can get the best job out there, or we can have a fancy car or the biggest house on the street. Simply it was created for families. I've been telling myself this for almost a year, I especially think this when we talk about when we should have babies. But when we were planning dads funeral it hit a nerve. (a good nerve) If we do get pregnant soon, what a wonderful blessing it will be and I know the Lord will provide for us no matter what may happen!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

my Savior

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the plan of salvation and what it means to me. I've always believed it, but now I'm experiencing it from a whole different perspective. I know that my Redeemer lives! And because of that I know my dad is still very much a live (spiritually of course) and working. I know he is in a place that is so beautiful it's beyond our imagination and he is happy! I knew that almost instantly after I heard of his passing. So this picture gives me great joy and hope.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Dad

My dad could be considered a jolly o' fellow. At times he even looked like Santa Claus. He may have been stubborn but he had a great sense of humor and passion. He loved his country. He loved his family. He was wise. He was Intuitive. (sometimes too intuitive).

I haven't slept since my mom called me at 2 o'clock this morning beside herself and said my dad had an attack in the bathroom and was gone. Right now that memory alone is what's haunting me. I feel the need to write about this while it's fresh in my memory.

Mom called me and asked me to call Clark and Emily. Emily was on her way immediately but getting a hold of Clark was another story. He was staying at his in-laws for the weekend. No one can be prepared for the emotions and physical pain death causes. Over the last two years dad has had 5 brain surgeries, leukemia, high blood pressure, etc. etc. He was making progress after each surgery. However, we all knew there was a chance the end could be close. We just didn't expect it to be in the middle of the night having a heart attack. (I personally feel all the medication he was taking had a big factor).

I didn't know what to do. It was physically hard for me to walk. Somehow Cony got us to my parents and we were met by mom and dad's brother Earle and our Aunt Ann. It didn't seem real. How could this be? He was just at our house this afternoon for Jordan's birthday party eating hot dogs and cupcakes.

Neither mom or I could sleep. All we wanted to do was clean. So that's exactly what we did. Clean. I was overwhelmed by how many people came to show their love by bringing a ton of food, we live in the south so our kitchen was stock full. And my dad's family has been wonderful. We aren't very close to them, but they have really shown compassion and love to us. It has brought me to tears a few times today thinking of everyone who has served us in some way today. The house was filled all day! Towards the end after we had gone to the funeral home to make arrangements it was getting to be a little much for me. I just wanted somewhere to go to be a lone. But I couldn't because everywhere you turned... someone was there. At the funeral home Clark asked if we could see dad. He had been em bombed but he only had a sheet over him. I didn't care to see him like that but it made it real for me. It was a moment that will live with me forever. Because I kept expecting him to walk into the house making some kind of smart remark and all the grand kids yelling "Papa!!". Or him keeping everyone up at night with his snoring. Or just to come sit down with us at the dinner table and talk for an hour. He worried about us. He worried about a lot of people.

My mom has been great. She's a real trooper. She just got to work calling everyone that loved dad or dad loved. Cleaning. Talking. Hosting. Planning. What a strength to have!

And that is why I love the gospel. I love what it has taught our family. That we are a family, forever. I'm so grateful for the priesthood power and the strength it brings in the hour of need. And by that same priesthood power we have been sealed together as a family in the temple for time and all eternity. Isn't that beautiful? It has brought much peace in our home today. Yes, we all cried but we were also able to laugh and enjoy each other because we understand that this is just part of the plan.

I know my dad is so much happier now and doesn't have any pain. I'm so happy for him! I'm trying really hard not to dwell on the what if's and just be grateful that I was able to spend a little bit of time with him on his last day on earth. He was a man that inspired and he has inspired me in many things that have molded me into the woman I am today. I'm so honored to call him my dad.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Jordan turns 4

So Jordan turned 4 today. It's crazy to think that it's been 4 years! Since that was a big life-changing summer for me, I correlate and judge time when Jordan was born and in the hospital. I LOVE all my nephews and nieces and was tickled that we spent a few hours with them tonight in Cartersville near the Allatoona Dam, eating pizza and cookie cake. Yummm. Here are a few of my favorites moments.

Sisterhood of the Traveling (something)

'the Sisterhood'

We finally did it! We finally went on a girls only trip that we have been planning for over a year. It was short but sweet. We headed down to St. Augustine, FL early Saturday morning and stayed late Sunday night. We planned to just stay on the beach all day both days, but of course it started to rain after we got there and had lunch. So we did a little shopping (none of us bought one thing!). Come to think of it, none of our plans were executed. Except for Sunday.. we did get on the beach and I thought the weather was perfect. Not too hot, but just hot enough to jump in the cold water every 30 minutes.

Charity, Emily and I went on a run, although Charity went and did her own thing. I know at least for Emily and me.. we had a great run! We saw a wedding, saw a purple star fish and the light after the storm on the beach was incredible. Emily wore some of my old shoes and couldn't walk the rest of the trip. Poor girl.

We did have a chance to walk around Historic St. Augustine and found the best fudge! During our walk, more like a hunt for food, a really cool lady called out to us.. "Look! It's the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"! It was funny since we planned to go see the movie that night and the town wasn't showing it.

All in all it was a great trip. Short, cheap and got a little sun.