Ignorance is Bliss

I learned something new this week. I learned that there is a National Infertility Association and this week is Infertility Awareness Week. I don't particularly like to read how others deal with infertility because I strongly believe that it's a very personal struggle and everyone handles it differently. However different, it seems the feeling of grief and pain can only be understood from those that deal with it personally. 


Until this moment only my sister knew we were experimenting with different medical treatments to get pregnant. We were in the mist of a 'bigger' treatment when we found out about Madelyn and we wished with all our hearts that it would be successful because we thought it would be awesome to have two babies so close in age. Clearly it didn't work and as we move forward with the next step, the biggest obstacle I have to climb is my ignorance. I'm not ignorant about the issue but it sure is easy for me to IGNORE and forget that I have an issue.  The theme for this year's Awareness Week is 'Don't Ignore Infertility'. Sooo appropriate for me since I have found bliss in my ignorance.


May I suggest reading Infertility Etiquette and When Fertility Strikes if you or someone you knows struggles with conceiving. Everyone can benefit from reading the articles because you never know, someone close to you might be silently struggling. 


It's a very real possibility that Madelyn could be an only child in our family. Which would be such a bummer because Cony now wants 14 kids. We are taking the steps necessary to grow our family and we have faith there is a plan for us. We've been given this obstacle because we CAN find strength in it and become the people God has intended on us becoming. It's comforting to know she DOES have an older brother Gabriel and I hope they can have a sweet relationship as time goes on. 


Being a mother has opened my eyes to love and peace I honestly didn't know existed. I feel incredibly blessed to feel that every day I hold our baby. Madelyn has filled in a hole in my heart and there is no going back to the same ol' me (or us). 


Go read those articles and get educated. 

She found her feet this week....

Adoption Rocks!

We knew once we had a court date to make the adoption final that we wanted to celebrate with our Connecticut family because we would be doing the sealing and blessing in Georgia. Not only that... the finalization of an adoption is kinda a big deal and we thought it deserved a party. I love to throw parties and since this one was so meaningful for us, I wanted to have it somewhere sweet. Thankfully I'm buddy buddy with the director of a local library and she agreed to let us host it there. We wanted it to include the entire family so we had all sorts of activities and food for all. It was a treasure to have so many people we love come celebrate with us. 

First Easter

It was a big weekend celebrating Easter and the finalization of the adoption- which was a great success (will go into greater detail another day). 


Easter was beautiful for many reasons but mostly because I was reminded how amazing the significance of this holiday truly is. I'm truly grateful Christ gave his life for mankind and that I can try and try again and He will always be there with open arms. 

I couldn't live without my YW counselors/friends and that's real talk. 

Cony's Nana spoiled Little Miss silly with a beautiful dress and a bunny. 

I can't help but laugh every time I see her cry because it doesn't happen very often and it's just so dang cute. 

Happy Easter! 

5 years ago today

I've been looking forward and preparing for this weekend for a few reasons 1. Conference. 2. Today marks 5 years that Cony told me he loved me for the very first time. I actually remember the day most beautifully. We had just spent the day at my parents home in Jefferson (was really hoping to win the lotto last night to buy that house!) watching Conference. At this point we had been dating for just over 4 months and on our car ride home, Cony not only threw the "I love you" at me but he told me that he had been reading the Book of Mormon, knew it was true and wanted to be baptized. I believe my response was "April Fools?!?". I had no idea that he was reading the Book of Mormon. I knew he had been doing a little research on what I believed, but I wasn't expecting him to have his own confirmation so early. Things weren't very easy afterwards but the sacrifice and courage my man has shown over the years amazes me. 


So glad I've been able to spend the last 5 years with CBM3. 


His very first church activity playing broom hockey...

My favorite of us on our honeymoon...

Sometimes I think our little girl might be a Ginger. Which would just tickle me pink! 

And this beauty had a birthday yesterday. I just know this is going to be the best year yet. 

4 months

With every passing month it seems harder and harder to realize Madelyn is growing so quickly. For two months she was sleeping 12 straight hours until the past week when she decided to give us a run for our money and not sleep. She won't sleep and we have no idea why. Monday night we introduced rice cereal into her diet and it looks like I'll be the one feeding her at all times since it makes Cony gag. (We all have our "thing"). The cereal thing didn't really help. However, Madelyn is discovering her hands and now tries to grab the bottle and does her best to hold it all on her own, she also rubs her eyes when she's tired and rolls all over the place. Even with no sleep we adore her.  

We had an adventurous weekend celebrating Evan's 5th birthday with Duckpin Bowling, not only Madelyn's first time bowling but first birthday party. Duckpin is a New England thing and it was so much fun. The kids love it cause the balls are small enough that they can throw and carry and throw and drop. I loved it cause you don't have to wait for your ball to come back for your next run, you just pick up another one and go. Plus the place hadn't had anything done to it since it's been opened probably in the 50's and it may not smell wonderful, but I couldn't get enough of the retro design. Thank you Seals & Roses for a great time. Cony and the boys went to see the Hunger Games afterwards and I'm still trying to find the book to read it. 


Another adventure for me was the Young Women Broadcast. Our presidency planned and executed a "We're Lucky to Know You" dinner. Has anyone heard of Cafe Rio? My two counselors had recipes for Cafe Rio and I know understand what the big hype is all about... it's delicious. We also had a fruit plate that looked like a rainbow and handed out General Conference kits to the girls. I found it to be a success, which I'm grateful for because a lot of time and effort went into it. 


My goal for the week is to survive. 

 
 

Dreams

I've been having some craaazy dreams lately. I mean, if I could write well, I could be the next Stephanie Myers and make millions off my dreams. But alas, that is not my destiny.  However, I've been thinking a lot about dreams in the last week and certain songs and talks have helped me realize how many of my dreams have come true. I love that song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry and have been hearing it randomly throughout the week, although there are many things I wish I could change about my teenage years- mostly my self confidence and self image- I'm living the dream I had for myself back in the day. Did this happen over night? Ohhh how I wish that were the case sometimes, but the paths I've taken in life have lead me directly to my personal real-life dream. Cony being the main attraction. I sometimes wonder what others perception of our life could be and wonder if that perception would change if they really knew the struggles and trials we face. It's true. Our life is NOT perfect. If I didn't believe certain trails were too sacred to share with even family, I would love to dish all the darkness that can enter our home. Over the past few months my testimony has strengthened tremendously of dreams coming true but not without first experiencing a lot of pain and anguish. 


On Saturday we went to the Boston LDS Temple with the Youth and it brightened my soul. The peace and comfort that comes from within those walls is powerful. A member of the Temple Presidency told us a story that he witnessed while he was Mission President (I believe it was in Austria) of a young missionary. Well this young man had a very vivid dream that included him walking out of the temple dressed in a dark suit next to a young woman in a white dress. This young woman ended up investigating the church and later was baptized but it wasn't until 3 years after his dream that they were married in the temple. This story struck me because it does take time to make dreams a reality and we have a big role to play in our own happiness. 


Here's another main attraction in my real life dream....