18 Month Firecracker

Today Madelyn turns 18 months old. Our birth mom couldn't have nicknamed her better because she truly is a Firecracker. We were able to save a little to make a very short trip to Mexico Beach, FL this past weekend and we all couldn't get enough of it. At first M3 wasn't sure what to think about the sand because she's so worried about what's in between her toes. Thankfully it didn't take long for her to get over it and start digging in. We're hoping next time we go our hotel won't have to be so ghetto and we can stay longer. I will have to say though, it worked out great we only stayed a short amount of time because being in the sun all day Saturday just about put me into the ER. The sun unfortunately has never really been my friend. 

When we saw the sign for a BBQ joint named 'Austin's Smokin Butt Hut' we had to turn around and eat there immediately. It turned out to be a really sweet surprise and not just because the food was amazing. The owner sat with us and we chatted about God, adoption and the evils of the world. He recently retired from the Sheriff's department and was adopted himself at 16 months old. We're tickled we stopped!

Mother's Day

A year and a half ago I was given the gift of motherhood because of another mother. It has been the most beautiful experience of our life. Not just because we have the awesome responsibility of parenthood, but because we have had the opportunity to feel unconditional love in this life. Mother's Day can be a really hard day for some. I've been there, I know. I'm grateful my attitude changed about the holiday before Madelyn came into our life. It's hard for some to comprehend the beauty & unselfishness of adoption which in return is hard for us to comprehend. We both realize how lucky we are to have amazing women in our life we call mothers. 

This year we had my side of the family over for breakfast as dinner and we sisters had a great time making it together. No, our men did not cook for us nor would we expect them to....they have other redeeming qualities we love about them. For example: playing with the kids in the park teaching them to play baseball or taking time to push them on the swing or teaching a neighborhood boy to throw the frisbee to Gracie. 

 These next two photos brought me to tears for most of the night. Our birth mom, whom we call Tummy Mummy posted them on her Instagram account. The fact she loves US so much is such a humbling feeling.

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it" C.C. Scott

Restless and Wild

At times it's difficult to stop and smell the roses. It's something I strive to do everyday and if I get to do it just for five minutes a day, I consider it to be a success. In those five minutes I find there are lots to be cherished. 

Some days the only way I can shower is to let Maddie play in the shower with me. I stood in the shower the other day watching her play with the bar of soap, recognizing the white suds on her hands then proceeds to clean her own bum. Children really are sponges and it can be either a very fascinating or terrifying process to watch.  A terrifying example is when Jordan is at our home and he's all over Madelyn and in return she will slap him or push him away. Our baby is becoming rough and I blame the husband. It's the husbands fault because he is always always always playing rough with Jordan. Something Jordan (and Cony) loves. 

We're now finding ourselves constantly talking about ways to discipline M3. She just laughs at me if I spank her and giggles when I say "no ma'am" to running out into the street. What we are finding what works best so far is praising her when she does what we've asked her to do. She likes praising herself too. We're in a learning curve and I'm guessing once we master this phase, she'll throw us another curve ball to figure out. She may be wild and at times a little rough with her cousin, but when she folds her arms at the dinner table to pray, brings us a book to read, stops whatever she's doing to investigate in between her toes, runs around the house after she's taken off her diaper, hugs on Gracie and gives us 'night night' hugs & kisses...we can't help but be wildly in love with her. 

Another moment I'm trying to savor is this pregnancy. I've had strangers say to me "oh you must be ready for that baby to come out!". As anxious as we are to meet Baby Olive, I really am embracing this experience. It's not always easy especially at night when I need to rest to stop the contractions and the second I do, rest less leg syndrome sets in. There are two things that have been a real struggle for me during this pregnancy... 1.) not being able to sleep in my own bed with my husband (sofa has been my bed for the last three months) and 2.) waiting for someone else to do something physical for me, ie: lifting boxes, moving furniture. The closer we are to the end, I can't help but feel a little panicky. It's the not knowing what to expect that can be a little unnerving at times. But I've made it through some hard times and I just keep repeating to myself 'I can do this, I can do this...'. 

(me at 31+ weeks)

The Importance of Photography

The subject of photography and the important role it plays in our life has been heavy on my mind. You know that saying "a picture is worth a thousand words"? I think that rings true when you've lost someone close to you.

In the last year I've known directly or indirectly seven families who have suffered the loss of a child or children. It's heartbreaking to imagine and these events have really struck a cord with me. I've been doing photography for almost four years on and off and I cherish being able to capture our life with my camera. If you haven't had your family photos taken in a while, please go and don't put yourself in a position of regret. I'm so thankful we had our family photos done just a few months before dad died. 

Here's a little secret- a good photograph doesn't always mean you have on the perfect outfit or the subject is smiling directly in the camera. Sometimes it means letting go and embracing all the lovely moments of life....

 

The Great Hair Dilemma

Over the last few weeks I've finally noticed that my hair is starting to grow! One of the perks of being pregnant I've been waiting for. Although one day I have plans to cut my hair super short, I'm enjoying the lack of hair loss. However, Madelyn's hair is a whole other ball game. We call her hair-do a "mini mullet".  Cony thinks I'm trying too hard to put hair bows in her hair much less attempt a ponytail. But I tried anyway, even if it was an epic failure. 

Pregnancy & Fears

I've felt comfortable talking about our infertility and how we got pregnant but have been hesitant to talk about the pregnancy itself in fear of hurting those who are still struggling with infertility (which is something I do not take lightly). But I'm done being hesitant only because if I don't document this journey, who will? Monday I hit 28 weeks, which means I'm in the third and final trimester. I've really enjoyed being pregnant and still am! Don't get me wrong- it ain't no walk in the park but just being able to have this experience is something to cherish (the good, the bad and the ugly). 

Last week while I was still recovering from being sick and nursing Maddie to health from the flu, my worst pregnancy nightmare came to life when I was in a car wreck. My sister was in the passenger seat while Jordan and Maddie were in the back. I'm trying to come to peace about the situation so I won't go into great detail. The short version consist of me getting hit by a woman who was in a lane too early. Both Jordan and Maddie were upset about the ordeal and walked away with seatbelt marks on their necks. Couldn't be more thankful nothing more serious happened. Cony drove me to the ER later to be monitored for most of the evening and hearing her heartbeat was music to our ears, especially since I hadn't felt her kick for a while and had minor cramping. Since learning I was pregnant driving has been my least favorite thing to do. I have my personal reasons as to why and the night of the accident I was a complete basket-case. A week later I'm still recovering and conquering that fear.... because life must go on. 

She has picked up a new cheesy "I can do no wrong" smile. And I'm not 100% certain how she learned to kiss because she comes at you with her mouth wide opened ready to slobber all over your face. I didn't think it was possible, but she just keeps getting yummier and yummier. 

This Girl is on Fire

I don't know what has happened this week but our baby girl is quickly turning into a child. She communicates more (words AND sign language), whines more, jumps more, climbs more and loves on us more. She's become obsessed with dogs and will wake up in her crib with her high pitch "ruff ruff" call. "Moo and Ruff Ruff" are her favorite and we're working on "Meow and Quack".  Although she's giving us a run for our money, she's our bliss. 

Believe it or not, Madelyn isn't the only one in this household. Shocking, I know! For the last three months Cony has been working as an electrician and hated every moment of it. We look back on it now as a huge blessing for many reasons but mostly to know for certainty he indeed does not want to be an electrician for life. He got a full time job that uses his degree in downtown Atlanta. The commute isn't awesome- however, he found a commuters bus he takes and either reads or sleeps on his way down. So far so good! 

The last few months haven't been easy but we are still alive and happy and more importantly grateful for our trials that help us become better.