4 months

With every passing month it seems harder and harder to realize Madelyn is growing so quickly. For two months she was sleeping 12 straight hours until the past week when she decided to give us a run for our money and not sleep. She won't sleep and we have no idea why. Monday night we introduced rice cereal into her diet and it looks like I'll be the one feeding her at all times since it makes Cony gag. (We all have our "thing"). The cereal thing didn't really help. However, Madelyn is discovering her hands and now tries to grab the bottle and does her best to hold it all on her own, she also rubs her eyes when she's tired and rolls all over the place. Even with no sleep we adore her.  

We had an adventurous weekend celebrating Evan's 5th birthday with Duckpin Bowling, not only Madelyn's first time bowling but first birthday party. Duckpin is a New England thing and it was so much fun. The kids love it cause the balls are small enough that they can throw and carry and throw and drop. I loved it cause you don't have to wait for your ball to come back for your next run, you just pick up another one and go. Plus the place hadn't had anything done to it since it's been opened probably in the 50's and it may not smell wonderful, but I couldn't get enough of the retro design. Thank you Seals & Roses for a great time. Cony and the boys went to see the Hunger Games afterwards and I'm still trying to find the book to read it. 


Another adventure for me was the Young Women Broadcast. Our presidency planned and executed a "We're Lucky to Know You" dinner. Has anyone heard of Cafe Rio? My two counselors had recipes for Cafe Rio and I know understand what the big hype is all about... it's delicious. We also had a fruit plate that looked like a rainbow and handed out General Conference kits to the girls. I found it to be a success, which I'm grateful for because a lot of time and effort went into it. 


My goal for the week is to survive. 

 
 

Dreams

I've been having some craaazy dreams lately. I mean, if I could write well, I could be the next Stephanie Myers and make millions off my dreams. But alas, that is not my destiny.  However, I've been thinking a lot about dreams in the last week and certain songs and talks have helped me realize how many of my dreams have come true. I love that song Teenage Dream by Katy Perry and have been hearing it randomly throughout the week, although there are many things I wish I could change about my teenage years- mostly my self confidence and self image- I'm living the dream I had for myself back in the day. Did this happen over night? Ohhh how I wish that were the case sometimes, but the paths I've taken in life have lead me directly to my personal real-life dream. Cony being the main attraction. I sometimes wonder what others perception of our life could be and wonder if that perception would change if they really knew the struggles and trials we face. It's true. Our life is NOT perfect. If I didn't believe certain trails were too sacred to share with even family, I would love to dish all the darkness that can enter our home. Over the past few months my testimony has strengthened tremendously of dreams coming true but not without first experiencing a lot of pain and anguish. 


On Saturday we went to the Boston LDS Temple with the Youth and it brightened my soul. The peace and comfort that comes from within those walls is powerful. A member of the Temple Presidency told us a story that he witnessed while he was Mission President (I believe it was in Austria) of a young missionary. Well this young man had a very vivid dream that included him walking out of the temple dressed in a dark suit next to a young woman in a white dress. This young woman ended up investigating the church and later was baptized but it wasn't until 3 years after his dream that they were married in the temple. This story struck me because it does take time to make dreams a reality and we have a big role to play in our own happiness. 


Here's another main attraction in my real life dream....

Dogs Off Their Leashes

On Saturday I had the opportunity to hang out with some girlfriends and drive down to the coast. I loved how Nancy put it "We're dogs off our leash today!" and we did whatever we wanted for the afternoon. Mostly shopping, but it was exactly what my little heart needed that I didn't know I needed. Since I'm home more it's really hard for me to leave and want to make memories. It's difficult to wrap my head around the fact my house doesn't have to be perfect in order for me to leave, nor does it need to be perfect when I'm home! I can't quite put into words my thought process...maybe it's the fact I don't like leaving Madelyn, who knows!

Regardless, I'm so glad I let myself go and make some memories with friends and attend the Stake Youth Talent Show with my other girlfriends. Our girls did a mock up of a Backstreet Boys song "I Want it that Way" and I was so proud they got up there and did it with some attitude. I know they were nervous and later found out they said a little prayer together before they got on stage!

Found the perfect solution for those awesome doors I always see at the antique stores. This would be perfect for our home even with the fact we don't live next to the beach/coast.

Learned that Seagulls smash shells on rocks in order to get their food. My something new for the day. (can we say "duh"?)

Clearing

As I have gone back and read our previous posts and having friends asking questions, I feel I need to write down more details and hope things can be more clear in our experience AND so I don't forget them myself.

Our time in court on Monday was only about 10 maybe 15 minutes long. Our lawyer/guardian asks us both questions about our life together. For instance... our wedding date, what we do for a living, can we support the child, have we bonded with the child, has our extended family bonded with the child, etc.. I had to hold back my tears when I was asked if I've bonded with Madelyn because I've never felt more complete. After all the questioning and the judge ruled in our favor, he came down to take some photos with us. He was an older gentlemen and very kind. He didn't really acknowledge me, instead he walked straight to Madelyn and took her out of my arms and was so sweet with her. While we were walking out our lawyer made a remark to me that she didn't know Devon was present and if she had known she would have asked different questions. Hence the reason I thought she seemed a little irritated. But the only question I can remember her asking that she probably would have changed would be about the birth father. Devon did not put his name down as the birth father because things went really bad after they broke up. Threats, restraining orders... you get the picture. We don't know who he is and we are at peace we will probably never know much about him. We plan on being very open with Madelyn about Tummy Mummy and our journey that lead us to her and pray that Madelyn will be at peace knowing no matter what she's our baby and a Child of God.

Finalization

This weekend we flew home to Atlanta because we had our court date in Greenville, South Carolina yesterday, March 5, 2012. I know, I know, we didn't tell anyone that we were in town because we just didn't have the time to see everyone we love. Please don't hold it against us, we just didn't want it to be a stressful weekend trying to be here and there and everywhere. Instead we spent Saturday with family, doing a little shopping, eating, playing and just being us. 


Here are many of the highlights of the weekend..... (beware of photo overload)


Madelyn's first airplane trip. She was awesome on all four planes! Tip of the day: if you fly later in the evening, the plane isn't full and they will let you carry on your car seat. Which ended up being such a treat so late at night. 

Cousin time. They couldn't get enough of her when we first arrived. They followed us everywhere, including the bathroom to bath her.

Play time. 

Nail time. Which included me getting my very own pedicure by Jordan and McKinzie.  

                                       

The result. 

Sunday after church we headed straight to SC to stay with Devon's family. Devon is our birth mother and I'm so glad that we can be more opened about who she is now that things are final because she is worth writing about a lot. We feel so comfortable in their home and we can honestly say, they are our family. We love them and they love us, even when Cony sets off the house alarm at 6:00 in the morning. Devon has a 2 1/2 year old son who is pretty much the sweetest boy I've ever known. He really took to loving on Maddie and building towers made of shaving cream and soap for her to knock over. When he woke up (from the house alarm) he was holding a picture of Maddie and Gracie, which just warmed my heart in a way I can't put into words. He couldn't go to sleep without a picture of Maddie and in my book he won the best brother ever award. 

Monday morning we headed to the court house pretty early to be safe we weren't late. My mother was lucky enough to come with us and Devon, Gabrielle, Grandma Celia and Grandpa Tom also came, which meant the world to us. We didn't know what to expect but our lawyers warned us they would be asking us certain questions and it would be in a small room. I took that to mean, the judge would be asking the questions and we would be in his office. Not even close. The courtroom was an actual courtroom (duh!) but on a really small scale. Both Cony and I had to swear to the tell the truth and sat in a witness chair while our lawyer and guardian ad litem asked us questions. The guardian ad litem is the person who represents the child in court and is asked by the judge if she sees fit we be granted to be parents. Our lawyer wasn't able to make it so he sent one of his associates and when she asked Cony who was in the courtroom to support us, he pointed to Devon's family and mentioned she was our birth mom. Come to find out later, she didn't know that was "Devon" and seemed a little irritated that we didn't warn her. Lynn, the guardian ad litem knew so we just assumed. Apparently it's not very often they have the birth mom at the final hearing. But we don't keep anything from Devon so it didn't seem like a big deal.  

Yesterday was so full of happiness and joy. A day we'll always remember and a day we'll always celebrate. We feel honored to have so many people rooting for us and honored that we have a lasting relationship with Madelyn's birth family. Miracles are happening all around us, but they seem to happen after a lot of heartache and hard work- so if I may give another tip: don't give up!