The How

At times it's still hard to believe I'm 20 weeks pregnant! We are thrilled and wanted to share how this miracle came to pass.  Most of the responses have been ... "That's what happens when you adopt, you get pregnant afterwards!". Well, it wasn't that easy AND a lot of women simply do not have that option. I know those responses were out of love and I have no hard feelings, but it has inspired me to write another chapter of this journey we've been on. 

It's all about the Lord's timing and we know without a doubt that Madelyn was meant to be in our family, but just as importantly her birthmother and family were also meant to be apart of our family. Would this had happened if we already had children of our own?  It's unlikely. We both feel passionately about adoption and hope our journey has helped someone feel it's not always a negative process. In fact we have reason to feel that it's usually the adoptive parents that make the process more difficult and harmful than needed. 

While living in Connecticut, we had amazing insurance (it would have covered IVF treatments) and we jumped on the band wagon immediately to take advantage. We went through a few doctors and this past summer switched to an OB that was finally able to direct me to the right Specialist. At this point, there had been lots of meds and treatments that were  unsuccessful. We would have had an IUI or IVF treatment a long time ago but the meds they kept putting me did not "jumpstart" my ovaries. If you know anything about getting pregnant you know your ovaries have to be functioning properly.  The new Specialist decided to put me on a cancer pill they had recently discovered help women ovulate. At first I wasn't too thrilled about being put on another med, but while in his office a warm feeling came over me it was the right step. The first round was not successful but was successful because for the first time I was able to produce a follicle. With the second round of these meds, I had to be in the lab by 6:30 a.m. to get my blood taken to make sure we didn't miss my surge. I did that for 10 days. If I did surge, the plan was to do an IUI  (Intrauterine Insemination). This is when they take "washed" sperm (your husbands) and directly inseminate into the uterus. By the grace of God,  I was able to be inseminated on 10/11/12 (I LOVE cool dates!)! However, having an exact date to know if the procedure worked emotionally drained me. I barely did anything for a week because I was convinced my cycle was about to start. When the day came to take a pregnancy test, although faint, I knew it was successful! I didn't know what to say or how to say it but I got down on my knees immediately. 

To make the day even sweeter it happened to be Cony's birthday. I quickly drew '1+1=2' on a wooden heart for Madelyn to hand him as his gift. I'm grateful I thought to record his reaction! 

Words can not do our feelings and excitement justice. We know most of you have been praying on our behalf for years and we have sincerely felt them give us strength through this journey. We know how lucky we are to be able to carry a child of our own and to have beautiful people in our life! 

Missing Out

Since moving and working more than I have since baby was born, I feel like I haven't had the time to cherish the little things in our life. Particularly the things our baby is learning and doing. She has changed so much in such a short about of time, I can't keep up. So I've gone back in my  memory to write down a few little things I want to remember....

*She loves to unplug cords from the wall. It takes me way longer to vacuum than it should.

*Cony is the only one who can get her to sleep at church. I've tried and keep failing.

*Mimicking is her ner favorite game. Whether it's shaking her head yes or no or raising her hand. While at Nana's she'll lay with the remote on my mom's bed pretending to watch TV. Last week when she had a bad cold and we were wiping her nose 24 times a day- she tried to do the same to us.

*She'll bring me books all day long and I'll read about 2 pages and she's off to get the next book. She's slowly getting better about sitting in my lap and getting through a whole book.

*Our new night routine for hugs is her laying her head on my shoulder and patting my back. I cherish this because up until now she hasn't been much of a cuddlier. Even if it's only for one minute, I'll take it.

*She'll bring me her shoes and jacket and head straight to the door.

*Points to Gracie and any other dog and says something like "Daaaa"... still working on the g.

*Brought me her favorite book the other day and pointed to the cow on front page and said "maa".

Last night while Cony was putting up her chandelier in her bedroom and she was taking a bath, I caught her slowly sneaking her head up to see me.  Her personality makes my heart full.

Our Christmas in Connecticut

Clearly I'm way behind on keeping up with our own life. Before I forget the last two months of our life, I'm going back in time and documenting some happy moments.

We did something no human should ever do to themselves or their friends... moved the week before Christmas. Our Connecticut family didn't complain once while packing us up or loading our truck. One of the many reasons we call them family. We got to Georgia on Christmas Eve morning and stayed with my brother for a night until staying with my mom and sister for three weeks. Thankfully we found a place in the same neighborhood that fit our needs perfectly and allowed us to sleep in a bed and Maddie in her own crib. We both started work right away and we're very slowly unpacking. The move hasn't been the easiest thing we've ever done but with each passing day we feel more human.

Before we left Connecticut I had the opportunity to experience some Christmas Traditions including, Christmas Tree Lighting at a local green and a Victorian Christmas service at a local church.  Have I mentioned how much I miss CT?

Blast from 2012

Well I wouldn't say we're having a blast back here in the dirty dirty (yet). I painfully miss our life in Connecticut for reasons I'm not ready to share or have the mind set to even think about. However, I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads (even if it's not our own) and food on the table. I've really enjoyed cooking and having a family dinner at the table most nights. It's nice. Although I need to catch up on the holidays and try to feel human again- I want to document my favorite photos of the last year. Hoping it will motivate me to get busy making new goals and plans to make 2013 a great year! I have a feeling it's going to be good...

A New Chapter at 5 Years

I'm not even sure where to begin so much as happened in the last few weeks. Cony got a job and we were set to move almost two weeks ago. A week before we were to leave, they called to tell us ... "actually we are going to pursue other applicants." There is no clear answer to why and he's even on the "list" for the next year. Needless to say it was a rough few days because we really weren't sure what we were going to do. That's when Cony was asked to help the victims of Hurricane Sandy in New York. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Cony came home himself, with a clear head, hope in his heart and smile on his face. (Completely worth him missing Madelyn's birthday party.) 

Which brings me to our current situation. He was reaccepted into an apprenticeship for an electrical journeyman in Atlanta. Fortunately they are applying all his experience from the Navy and it won't take that long to get his certification. This was the same program he turned down so we could come to Connecticut for grad school. It's really crazy how life works out or doesn't work out and we have no doubt in our minds that we came to Connecticut to do one thing and one thing only (not really only one thing but you get the point)... to get Madelyn. He's finishing up his paper to receive his Masters and I couldn't be more proud of him. At first I was ticked he didn't want to continue with his PhD only because that's why we came here and I hate not finishing something. But with time, I've come to see that his inspiration was divine. We're getting everything packed up and ready to leave this week so we can hopefully be home just in time for Christmas. It's all happening so quickly I haven't had time to register that we only have one week left in Connecticut. I will miss it tremendously. Here we learned to lean on each other and each other only. We didn't have family down the road to fall back on and for the first few months we were here, we only knew each other. Our marriage needed Connecticut without us realizing it. We needed the people we have grown to love here without realizing it. I'm at a lost for words how much I cherish our time here. It makes me (really) nervous to go back home because I don't want to fall back into a rut of stagnation.  

Yesterday we were able to celebrate us. It's hard to believe we've been married for five years. It's been an amazing five years because ... we've survived. I've never (ever) doubted that we wouldn't but it hasn't been easy. Cony woke up yesterday and whispered a sweet Happy Anniversary to me. And then proceeded to congratulate me on being married to him longer than anyone else. He's a hoot and I'm glad he chose me to spend his life with. 

Cookies and Milk

A few months ago we knew that we wanted to celebrate Maddie's birthday with a party. At first we thought we'd be in Georgia, so I planned accordingly but we were ok staying here to celebrate because it would be a "good-bye" party of sorts as well. (Will go into what are plans were and what they aren't now, later.) The party was set, cookies were made and then baby got sick. The sickest she's ever been. For three days she just cuddled with us and barely drank her bottle and occasionally ate a cracker. We secretly enjoyed it because she actually cuddled with us but hated seeing her in so much pain.

Thankfully things worked in our favor to reschedule the party for the following Saturday. Wednesday the men in our congregation got a call to help clean up at Rockaways, New York. It was hit the hardest during Hurricane Sandy. I'm thankful Cony felt he needed to go even if it meant he would miss Baby Girls first birthday party. The service opportunity could not have come at a better time in our life.

So Madelyn and I celebrated with our closest friends with a Cookies and Milk theme. She was in hog heaven. It's like she knew everyone was there to love on her and she took advantage!

Best 365 Days

Today our baby turns one. ONE! It seems just like yesterday we picked up our new car and a few hours later were on our way to South Carolina. It's hard to believe that just a year ago we met Devon and her family. They opened up their home to us immediately and we felt like we had always known them. Considering the three days before baby was born we had spent an evening getting our nails done, watching the new Twilight movie and having a beautiful Sunday dinner together, I can't help but consider their home a happy part of our story.

This past year has been full of family and personal development. It hasn't been all peaches and cream but it has been an incredible journey. Learning to become parents and working together has been my favorite part. Besides watching Cony love being a dad. I've pinched myself numerous times to make sure this wasn't a dream. I let myself forget too easily what an amazing man I get to spend my life with but when I do remind myself... I can't help but feel like I'm the luckiest girl around.

Since this is our blog and today is about our Madelyn, I'm going to gloat about her. She is an angel. Her personality and countenance makes anyone fall in love with her. We may not live close to our blood relatives but it's been such a sweet blessing to have our CT family love her just like their own. We get asked a lot "how did you get such a good, beautiful baby?" and my response is always, "we paid a lot of money for her!". It's a terrible joke, I know, but what's life without a little sense of humor? People we have met and don't know she's adopted find it hard to believe she's not our blood. A close friend always jokes: "Why don't you stop lying all ready... I believe you went to South Carolina to birth her secretly".

The motor skills of this child amaze me. She taught herself how to get down from our bed and loves to now climb on anything or anyone. Just last night she figured out how to climb onto the arm of her rocking chair while balancing herself on the rod of her faux closet. A few minutes later in the living room I turned around to find that she had climbed on top of her piano onto her play kitchen. She was so proud of herself. Cony thinks she's so girly because she likes shoes and purses, but I know better.... she plays hard and promise she can keep up with any boy and possibly take him down.

Madelyn is a light in our life and we are humbled we get to be her parents. We have learned more in the last year than we have in all the years we've been together. We are grateful we have an awesome tummy mummy and we get to consider her part of our family.